Make Me Laugh!

I'm always giving my [long suffering] gf a hard time about her "not being funny." But she came through today as the Britney Spears head-shaving stories circulated. She said that Britney likely shaved her head so that "the carpet would match the drapes."

We walked her dog, Goldie, tonight through my neighborhood, which is cavernous and hilly. About a quarter mile from home, we could clearly hear my dog, Kelly, crying as if she were being roasted alive on a spit. As if her soul was being pulled from her incarnate body. All this, because she was jealous that another dog was being walked in her stead. She is the dog embodiment of guilt, that one.

I mentioned Emo Phillips in my last post. This is my favorite joke of his [and I like many, many of his jokes]:

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

"Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

That joke was voted Best God Joke Ever, at least in the Guardian Unlimited.

I bought a bicycle. We'll see what no good comes of this.

Off to Indiana for 5 days, starting tomorrow. It's all good.