From the Department of "We Need Better Copy"

The genetics profile company, 23andme, has you spit in a cup, and you mail it to them, and you essentially get a carfax on yourself. All this for $399, quite a bargain.

And really, quite useful, at least in theory. So, here - directly from their very own website - is some copy that you may consider when deciding whether or not you should purchase this interesting service:

"You may learn surprising things about yourself.
There is a chance you could be surprised by what you learn about your genome. For example, you could discover that your father is not your biological parent. You could
learn that individuals with your genetic profile are at increased risk of developing a currently incurable disease. You might learn something unexpected about your ancestry. In certain cases, these discoveries could have social, legal or economic implications."

Wow. That makes me want to rush out and buy it right away! I've always suspected my father is not my "biological parent." Wait, biological parent ... no, he's my biological parent. What I meant was that I always suspected that he was the source of my deep-seated feelings of shame. Is there a marker for that?

In short, you supposed smart guys and gals at 23andme need better copy. How 'bout playing up the conversation starter aspect of the test results? Or, what a lovely present for the extremely self-absorbed person [or people] in your life. You must know at least one.

Dennis Quaid is in my Belly!

Sometimes I post just to write about something unusual. Right now would qualify. In my GI tract, I have a small encapsulated camera traveling through me, sending pictures to a pack that I am wearing outside my waist. The little pack is blinking blue right now, because it is happy. If it were to blink orange, it would signal some problem with the system, and I would have to call my doctor. So, somewhere in my torso, I have a little tiny cameraman snapping pictures of my ileum.

[The title of this post is in reference to this crappy movie].

Trivial Pursuits

I was talking with a co-worker the other day, someone who is well-paid, educated, and roughly my age. She is sort of the artsy type, so I was talking about some films that I happen to like a great deal, not obscure movies by any stretch of the imagination. The references completely stumped her, and she remarked that I seemed to know a lot of "pop culture trivia."

Pop culture trivia. Okay, I have at least 2 problems with that statement. First, if movies are art, then we're not talking about "pop culture." We're not talking about the vicissitudes of Jon & Kate's marriage. Or Lady Gaga's pants, or lack thereof. We're talking about something important. Art.

Secondly, there is a big difference between knowledge and trivia. Trivia means "things that pertain to petty or unimportant things." Trivial things. Like the fact that Charles Mingus trained his cat to use a toilet. That's trivial. Unless you're the cat. But knowing who Charles Mingus was? That's not trivial.

It just seems to me that anyone who knows anything is derided as having lots of trivial information. I guess the only important things to know nowadays are the URLs of Google and Wikipedia. All the rest is trivia.

This just in: I just finished reading the AP article on David Carradine's funeral service. The article contained this gem:

"Among the hundreds of guests were numerous actors, including Michael Madsen, Jane Seymour, Tom Selleck, Frances Fisher, Daryl Hannah, Lucy Liu, Edward James Olmos, Ali Larter, and James Cromwell. Rob Schneider also attended, carrying a basket of flowers."

Nice subtle exclusion of Rob Schneider from the "numerous actors" list.

Someone to Believe In

I was just thinking how important it is, and has been to me, to have people who believe in you. It's such an odd quirk of human character, to care so much what other people think. And whether they "believe" in you.

It just strikes me as such a random variable. And it depends on the believer's whim. And it depends even more on whether you have a good circle around you, or if not, you can create one.

I have known people who have forsaken their whole families, moved halfway around the world in search of a support network. In search of loving, supportive people.

I have known people with massive inferiority complexes despite having loving, supporting families and friends.

But all in all, it is so much better to have a soft pillow to lay your head on, that pillow being the confidence that your friends and family will be there for you, and that they believe you can overcome obstacles, hardships and setbacks. It means so much.