From the Department of "We Need Better Copy"

The genetics profile company, 23andme, has you spit in a cup, and you mail it to them, and you essentially get a carfax on yourself. All this for $399, quite a bargain.

And really, quite useful, at least in theory. So, here - directly from their very own website - is some copy that you may consider when deciding whether or not you should purchase this interesting service:

"You may learn surprising things about yourself.
There is a chance you could be surprised by what you learn about your genome. For example, you could discover that your father is not your biological parent. You could
learn that individuals with your genetic profile are at increased risk of developing a currently incurable disease. You might learn something unexpected about your ancestry. In certain cases, these discoveries could have social, legal or economic implications."

Wow. That makes me want to rush out and buy it right away! I've always suspected my father is not my "biological parent." Wait, biological parent ... no, he's my biological parent. What I meant was that I always suspected that he was the source of my deep-seated feelings of shame. Is there a marker for that?

In short, you supposed smart guys and gals at 23andme need better copy. How 'bout playing up the conversation starter aspect of the test results? Or, what a lovely present for the extremely self-absorbed person [or people] in your life. You must know at least one.