Die as in Diet

I'm exercising and on a diet right now. What next, a toupee?

I had a good laugh when the diet center folks told me my goal weight should be between 136 and 172. When I was in super duper shape [first year of law school, 1990. I was 27. I made the decision to get in shape, instead of say ... study], I weighed about 170 at my thinnest. I'm 5' 11" people! If I weighed 150 I would be impossibly thin. Who are these people who want me to resemble that grotesque phasmid Adrian Brody? Only a crazed sadist would find him attractive.

But, by the same token, when will Kate Moss lose than baby fat that has been stalling her career for oh these many years?

I love the Geico "Cavemen" commercials. There are four spots, and all of them great.

Things that cut against my grain culturally: those little roadside memorials people leave, presumably, at the site of whatever tragic thing happened to their loved one ... again, presumably, their untimely demise. I hate those things. And here is why: the capacity to suffer with nobility and quiet strength is a virtue that resonates in our culture as a very part of our self-reliant, self-determinative nature. And I think it is both arrogant and uncaring to show everyone within sight your memorial of grief. What if EVERYONE did that? I've lost friends, loved ones, family members in unexpected ways. I never for once thought that it would be appropriate to reveal my suffering in a public way, in an exhibitionistic fashion ... do something instead, with that energy. Do something positive.

I ate a bunch of uncooked eggplant tonight [in a salad]. And then spoke with the gf, who informed me that it contains a poison, solanine. It is, apparently, a member of the nightshade family. My roommate prepared this dish. If I show up on Cold Case Files, you have your smoking gun folks.

I am contemplating taking a job in the Chandler, AZ area. It sounds like more of the same. But there are a few plusses about the area: (1) cheaper real estate, (2) warm winters, (3) the most excellent spring training baseball, (4) Fender guitars is based in Scottsdale!, (5) I know a couple of people in that area [about 3 or 4], (6) my Dad and Step Mom live in Tucson, (7) it's close to California, (8) the job is with a company I respect, and (9) major airport nearby, 4th largest metro area in the US so no lack of things to do. Downside: IT'S F*CKALL HOT in the summer. And the culture reminds me of my least favorite city in the US, culturally: San Diego [the devil made a deal with San Diego: best location in the US, lowest average IQ.] And it is bleeding conservative in AZ, although as I age, I do find myself resembling the latter era Goldwater in my beliefs. Odd, no, for someone who at one time subscribed to the Nation, the Progressive and probably a couple of other hard left publications. But those were the Reagan years, could you blame us?

I was listening to the genius Keith Olberman on the Dan Patrick show this afternoon [I hate DP, love KO] and he actually compared Joe Girardi [the baseball Marlins manager who was fired after 1 season, and then was named Manager of the Year] to Cincinnatus, the farmer/warrior who was implored by the Roman senate to lead the country while it was under siege. He did so, successfully, and then returned to his farm. I mean, WHO IN THE HECK NAME DROPS CINCINNATUS?

Lisa: Ha, only one person in a million would find that funny!
Professor Frink: Yes, we call that the "Dennis Miller Ratio."

Olberman wins the Dennis Miller Ratio award for the day.

BTW, Gary Miller got fired from ESPN Radio last week. Anyone know why? I don't. I know that he had problems earlier in his career [didn't get fired, but he did get suspended]. This is from the October 15, 1997 New York Times:

"The ESPN broadcaster Gary Miller denied in court yesterday that he urinated onto off-duty police officers from a dance club's second-story window early last Saturday. Miller, a host for ESPN's ''Baseball Tonight,'' pleaded not guilty in Cleveland Municipal Court to charges of public indecency, aggravated disorderly conduct and resisting arrest."

I'm hoping he got canned for something equally cool.