I'm Not There, Either

The brilliant [cough] Todd Hayne's magic-realism biography talking picture of Bob Dylan comes out in November. It stars six different actors, including Cate Blanchett and a young black child, as Zimmie. Did no one think of casting Adam Sandler as the Great One?

That being said, a double slammy-whammy on Todd for (a) appropriating the great lost song "I'm Not There, I'm Gone (1956)" as the title for his movie-art-thing, and (b) remaking "The Jerk" without telling anyone. Bob Dylan: "I was born a poor black child."

I wouldn't let Haynes film my dog taking a dump. I saw "Far From Heaven" and I was truly offended by its disregard for the audience. The minimum I require from a movie is this: tell me an interesting story.

Speaking of my dog, I woke up to the strains of her throwing up. That'll kick your morning off right.

I've been painting all day. I hate painting. Painting is the worst thing I can imagine doing around the house, even worse than cleaning up dog barf. It is painstaking, attention-to-detail, make one mistake and you're covered with paint work. I'd rather build a fence, dig, mow or fix appliances.

The Angels have been on a hot streak, but one that makes me nervous. The no-stars [Figgins, Willits, Mathis] have been unreasonably hot. Like white hot. That can't last, can it? I would like a list of the trades that Bill Stoneman didn't make in the last five years, just to see how things have worked out. I think looking at his track record over that time would be interesting.

The really great weird non-comedy from the early 70's [1972], "The Heartbreak Kid" has been remade, starring Ben Stiller. I will tell you this much: it will not be the bizarre work of genius that the Elaine May-Charles Grodin original was. You want to see some acting? Check out the scenes with Eddie Albert and Grodin. Albert tries to bribe Grodin into not marrying his daughter. I would have taken the money and run off with Cybill Shepherd. Instead, Grodin sticks around in order to prove that his intentions are ... um ... honorable.

So if one has dishonorable intentions and one is tenacious, the intentions acquire some sort of nobility? That's the classic American trait -- a good quality brought to bear in a bad effort will redeem the whole messy affair?