One Kick-Ass Dog
You may think you have a kick-ass dog. And you may. But I can say plainly: I have a dog who kicks ass.
I say this despite the fact that she is a medium-sized dog. No intimidator, she. Only 42 pounds [and a little sparkplug of a pup, quick to paw, lick, jump and then run away and lay in the corner and ... watch you with her observant dog-eye.]
So, first, she sent Goldie [about 20 pounds of muscle her superior] to the Dog Emergency room, when G. picked a fight. Goldie wears that scar with pride, I tell you, but it was a BRUTAL BEATING that my dog laid dog. Little K. did not back off. Her colors [black, brown, beige and white] do not run. The headlock she had Goldie in will be studied in Dog Smackdown 101 classes from here on. It was the stuff that legends are made of. I nearly had a coronary after that fight. But it was clear that one dog emerged victorious and it was Little K.
Then, yesterday, Little K. [aka "Little Sack o' Dog Bones", "Poops", "Kellerina" and "Miss Bitey-Bitey"] and I were returning from a walk around the quiet and usually very boring neighborhood. It's dusk, nearly dark. We are right in front of my house, standing on the street, about to go up on the front lawn. I see from the corner of my eye a big Golden running towards us, barking and growling. I stand and yell "STOP!" at the oncoming 100 lbs. of dog, to no avail. Ferocious dog-on-dog battling ensues. Growling, biting, fighting and foaming, they roll around for a minute or so. Kelly wriggles out of her collar, so I have no control at this point, except to yell "STOP!" which I know is an exercise in futility.
The enraged beasts fight for a couple of minutes. Kelly flips the bigger dog over, bites him/her hard and the bigger aggressor dog ... low-tails it home! And the Little K., still barking, makes three circle-backs to the aggressor's house, and barks a stern warning: DO NOT F*** WITH ME. And then she marches straight home to the door, and waits for me to open it.
Seriously, whose dog does that?
So I gave her a snack, and thanked her for protecting me, and she slept a deep doggy sleep. Which in my mind was well-deserved.
What has your dog done lately?
posted by Peevish @ 6:55 PM
6 Comments:
Goldie says that if she would have had 30 more seconds, the tables would have been turned.
She would have had to turn the tables with half a head. Unlikely, but possible.
This post proves what I have long suspected. You are a fascist.
What is wrong with your dog's tongue?
My dog is sticking her tongue out extra-long for extra-dog-mockery.
Your dog is a fascist, too. your dog's tounge is a fascist. The Grateful Dead, according to Mary Travers on tne Mike Douglas Show, were also fascists. Maybe she just meant Phil. Also, Benito Mussolini, was, I believe, a fascist.
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